Elise Parsley Has Arrived!

EliseHyldenElise Parsley. Elise Parsley. Elise Parsley.

I told you I was a name dropper.

Sally Lodge’s awesome Publisher’s Weekly article of December 17, 2013 “From Query to Book Deal in 72 Hours: Debut Author Elise Parsley” will explain why I’m babbling.

Every once in a while we are blessed to journey with a superstar and live vicariously through his or her success.  Elise has been that traveling companion for me and lots of MN writers.  Yet, never once has she left us behind, choking in her jet stream. Not when she realized how artistically challenged the majority of us are. Not when she was told by an editor that she had a breakout character and to find an agent right away. And not when she got her three book deal and didn’t need our feedback anymore. She’s bringing us along by her side, where we can enjoy the view, too.

Elise is teaching us what it’s like to be discovered. And how to handle it with grace, wit, and humility. She won’t brag about herself, so we, her fans, have to do it for her. Her agent, Steven Malk tweeted:

Honored to have been part of this quintessential dream publishing story. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer author: publishersweekly.com/pw…

Well said–by someone who knows a little about success. And how to handle it with grace, wit, and humility. Talk about a dream team …

Elise Parsley. Elise Parsley. Elise Parsley.

Sorry. I can’t help myself. Once you meet her, you’ll be shouting her name, too.

Pinching Christmas Pennies II

Installment #2 on how to spend wisely so we can give better this Christmas.

QUESTION EXPIRATION DATES

If you have gift certificates or coupons that have expiration dates, try them anyway. I tossed $30 worth of Chamber of Commerce “cash” because they’d expired. Later I learned they could be updated. In fact, now it’s unlawful in some states for gift certificate issuers to enforce expirations.

Expired Holiday Gas Station coupons from Cub can still be used at certain gas stations. Just ask. (The Holiday Gas Station in Inver Grove Heights, MNtakes them, in case you’re in the neighborhood.)

Also, food expiration dates may cause you to throw away perfectly good products.

RECORD DAMAGE BEFORE RENTING

Vacation by Owner and Home Away may offer cheaper alternatives for family getaways because you can prepare your meals and eat in. However, take photographic inventory of damage to rental property and send it to the owners before you move in.

The owner of a summer rental threatened to keep our deposit because the housekeeper reported a hole in a bedroom wall. Since I couldn’t say for sure that no one in our party did it, I asked the owner to ask the previous renters if they saw it when they stayed. Luckily, they had and we saved $75.

The aforementioned example applies to any rental item. Recently we rented a car that had small dents in it. We snapped pictures and asked the rental car attendant to record the dents. Only then did we feel comfortable driving out of the parking lot.

MONITOR BILLS

We’ve been overcharged on our telephone bills more than once. It’s a hassle to get overcharges reversed, but it’s worth your time.

TAKE THE TRAVEL REWARDS

We earn enough travel reward points through our credit card to pay for the bulk of our travel. We pay for everything with it to build up points. We’d even pay our mortgage with it if our mortgage company would allow it. Then we automatically pay the balance each month with our checking account.

Disclaimer: If you can’t pay your balance in full each month, this is a BAD IDEA for you. In fact, if this is the case, you should not have any credit card. Pay cash for a shredder and destroy all plastic!

The rest of you, be smart with your rewards. Redeem your points for travel only. Don’t use them to buy the advertised products like that overpriced glow in the dark alarm clock that sings “Yankee Doodle Dandy”.

BUY TICKETS AT THE BOX OFFICE

Buying event tickets online will cost you much more in tax and shipping. Plus they charge per item, so if you purchase more than one ticket it will cost significantly more. Also, many metropolitan theaters offer rush tickets, where unsold event tickets* are available at the box office half an hour before show time at a reduced price. A friend bought rush tickets for her daughters for Wicked for $25 each. I felt stupid standing in line with my $87 Les Miserable e-tickets. And, I think they got better seats.

*Have an alternative plan in case of a sold-out performance. Sometimes this offer is limited to students and educators. Do your research ahead of time.

JUST SAY NO!

Finally, when the checkout person asks if you want the extended warranty on the item, just say “no”. Here’s why:

Happy giving!

Pinching Christmas Pennies

Most writers and artists live modestly to do what they love best. Unless you’ve written a New York Times Best Seller or inherited a fortune from Grandpa, you probably have to pinch your pennies if you want to be generous this Christmas. Here are some tips to make Abe Lincoln say “uncle”.

DON’T DRINK YOUR CASH AWAY

Save significant moolah by not drinking your income (and calories). Enjoy that Quadriginoctuple Frap; that shaken, not stirred martini; and that Masala chai tea  when you’re “discovered”. This will decrease your fitness gym and dental hygiene expenses, too.

REUSABLE WATER BOTTLES

Reusable water bottles save money and the environment. Refill as needed.

Last time we accidentally ordered fajitas for two. It will feed my husband and I four times over. We’ve saved meal-size servings in the freezer so we don’t overdose on Mexican cuisine. 

LEFTOVER INCOME

When you eat out, ask for the to-go cartons. Luckily, I have a spouse who likes most of the same meals I like, so we often share restaurant meals. The best deal is fajitas. We usually end up with enough food to feed us twice or more at home after the initial meal.

Vegetarian? Try the tofujitas.

TAX ON STUPID

Stay clear of lottery tickets and slot machines. Because the odds are so poor, my economic major son calls them a tax on stupid people. Besides, if you won, you’d go crazy and die penniless and embarrassed like most big money winners do.

Note that this gambling warning comes from someone determined to get her books published. My odds aren’t so hot either. But, writing’s more fun than scratching ticket stubs.

NEVER BUY A COUPON

For instance: resist restaurant.com certificates. Chances are you’ll be required to go to a restaurant you never intended to visit, spend more than you expected, and when the check comes the waiter will say, “I’m sorry, we don’t accept those.” Then you’ll go to the restaurant.com website and they’ll offer to make it right by requiring you to go to another restaurant you never intended to visit …

RESIST GIFT CARDS

Resist gift card purchases–period. They’re slippery little buggers. Unless you want your certificate, your spare change, and your remote control to enjoy each other’s company in the recesses of your couch cushions. Also, landfills are full of unused gift certificates hastily tossed by OCD people like me who can’t stand wrapping paper laying all over. We have a $35 certificate in a Fort Meyers, Florida landfill, if anyone wants to look for it.

Also, we’ve been burnt more than once buying gift cards from restaurants that are now out of business. Ouch!

Disclaimer: Okay, gift cards are a too-convenient habit–even though I know they’re a bad deal. I must confess, I bought movie theater gift cards last week. SAVING MR. BANKS isn’t in theaters until December 20. My KEM Christmas party was last Friday. What could I do?

Amendment: If you must buy a gift card, ask your gift receiver it in their purse or wallet before you throw away the gift wrap.

Anyway, if you want more advice from a hypocrite, watch for “Pinching Pennies II” in next week’s blog post.

May your days be filled with work you want to do,
not work you have to do.

2013 Iowa SCBWI Conference-Part III

MichellePoploff“Write about your histories!”

During her presentation, “The Write Place at the Write Time”, Michelle Poploff urged Iowa SCBWI Conference attendees to put  historical fiction on our to-write lists. She motivated us by sharing the process toward publication of successful  Delacorte Press’ historical fiction novels; among them, Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool, Paper Covers Rock by Jenny Hubbard, Running Out of Night by Sharon Lovejoy (to be published in 2014).

Finding Your Voice

IA SCBWI 2013

Later Poploff emceed the “Finding Your Voice” portion where attendees whose names were drawn read the first 500 words of their manuscript and provide on-line elevator pitch synopses. This was my favorite part of the conference because it gave writers the opportunity to shine. They shared their words with the rhythm and inflections they envisioned. Most of them had wrung these words out of their minds onto paper through blood, sweat, and tears. Now they were able to share their bounty with other sweaty, bloody, teary-eyed writers. The exercise enabled writers to be heard. That’s what all writers want.

 Publication Teamwork

Jan Blazanin and Allison Remcheck

Jan Blazanin and Allison Remcheck

JanBlazaninAllisonRemcheck


Christine Kettner, Art Director, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, and Illustrator Jennifer Black Reinhardt, walked us through the journey of making  middle grade novel The Adventures of A Southpole Pig. On the other end of the spectrum, Allison Remcheck, Assistant to Rosemary Stimola, and Jan Blazanin, Iowa author and Young Adult Mentor, gave us an inside look at Blazanin’s successful query letter to the Stimola Literary Studio, how she snagged the agency to represent her, and how Stimola, Remcheck, and Blazanin became an effective team.

I’m the poster child for the artistically-challenged, but both road-to-publication re-enactments were equally fascinating. Unless you know a published author, illustrator, agent, or editor personally, you can’t get this inside information without attending a conference. I’ll share some choice tidbits:

  • Directors, agents, and editors’ inboxes are swamped, so make your email query subject line stand out.
  • Don’t put all of your eggs in one manuscript. Your first manuscript may not be the manuscript that gets published.
  • Read as many books as possible in your intended genre.
  • Never pay someone to read your work for representation.
  • Self-publishing may sabotage your chances of being published later.

The Story Only You Can Tell

Joanna Cardenas, Assistant Editor, Viking, Penguin Group, USA, presented “Mastering the Deceptively Simple Art of the Picture Book” and “Author as Self-Promoter”. In picture books, she looks for humor, clever dialog, a memorable plot, and a distinct point of view. She wants to read the story that only you can tell. She quoted Leonard Marcus: “Picture books are stories told in two languages–text and art.”

A sampling of Cardenas’ self-promoting tips:

  • Publishers rarely can afford to offer book tours anymore, so you will need to do a lot of footwork yourself.
  • A website is key, but starting social media and not keeping up can hurt you. (Now she tells me.)
  • Teachers can help others discover your book.
  • Pool your efforts with other authors.
  • Offer workshops for kids that pertain to your work.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post-view of the 2013 IA SCBWI Conference. Maybe I’ll meet you there in person next year. (Remind me to take more pictures in 2014.)

2013 Iowa SCBWI Conference Photos

2013 IA SCBWI Conference-Part II

Louise650

First Pages practice
On the pitcher’s mound: Louise Aamodt

If you’re a children’s book writer, one of the best ways to hone your craft is to attend your regional Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI) conferences. For instance: the 2013 Iowa SCBWI Conference offered a variety of hands-on manuscript development opportunities:

  • Roundtable Peer Critiques
  • First Page Readings
  • Manuscript Reviews

Roundtable Peer Critiques

Conference peer reviews provide fresh, unbiased feedback for our work-in-progress. Also, they widen our circle of writing friends, broaden our view of the world, and challenge us to write at a higher level.

For the peer critiques Iowa SCBWI Assistant Regional Advisor Lisa Morlock divided the manuscripts by genre, then she organized us into groups of four or five. Lisa emailed the manuscripts to each pertaining group member so we could review and print critiques (or bring them in e-form) before the conference.

Accomplished author Sharelle Byars Moranville facilitated my group, which consisted of three other chapter book and middle grade novelists. To top off the great advice we received from one another, she suggested we give all characters a crucible moment;  deliver the empathy-building essence of our protagonists; and strategically plan for pivotal stepping moments at the quarter point, the mid point, and the three-quarter point of our manuscripts before tying it up with that satisfying ending.

Elevator pitch practice Up to bat: Alicia Schwab

Elevator pitch practice
Up to bat: Alicia Schwab

First Page Readings

Michelle Poploff, Vice President and Executive Director of Delacorte Press Books for Young Readers, led “Finding Your Voice”, a session where First Page participants received a wealth of feedback in minutes. Participant names were randomly drawn. They read the first 500 words of their manuscripts. After each reading, attendees in the audience provided anonymous  comments on notecards.

In our motel room the night before, my roommates and I took turns rehearsing and creating one-line elevator pitch synopses.  Not only did the pitch-writing exercise equip all four of us to create more impactful queries; but the extra preparation paid off in the performances. When my roommates names were drawn, they delivered self-assured readings preceded by convincing pitches.

Elise Hylden Up to bat

Elise Parsley up to bat, critiquing the pitch

Manuscript Critiques

Face-to-face manuscript critiques provided the best opportunity to have our most polished, unpublished manuscript critiqued by an editor, agent, or published author. We submitted our manuscripts three to four weeks prior to the conference to allow ample time for our advisor to review and write comments; then we received a ten-minute appointment for them to tell us what worked, what didn’t, and how to improve our work.

Thanks to Joanna Cardenas, Assistant Editor for Viking Children’s Books, for reviewing my manuscript. She devoted an impressive amount of thoughtful consideration, offering suggestions on character development, plot and structure, language and diction, voice, and marketability. Her advice differed substantially from input I had received from Barry Goldblatt, founder of BG Literary, at the 2013 Minnesota Conference. However, their foundational goals remained the same: to increase my protagonist’s likeability, which would increase the appeal of my manuscript, which would increase its chances of being published. I’m grateful to them both.

Next week I’ll share more 2013 IA Conference wisdom from Michelle Poploff; Allison Remcheck, Assistant Literary Agent of Rosemary Stimola Literary Studio; Joanna Cardenas; and Jennifer Black Reinhardt. See you then!

2013 Iowa SCBWI Conference Photos

2013 IA SCBWI Conference-Part I

Randy Holland, Elise Hylden, Jan Blazanin, Allison Remcheck, me, Alicia Schwab, and Louise Aamodt

Randy Holland, Elise Parsley, Jan Blazanin, Allison Remcheck, me, Alicia Schwab, and Louise Aamodt

There should be an Iowa-nice saying. The Iowa SCBWI Conference organizers welcomed us Minnesota party crashers with open arms as usual. The hospitality of these southern friends has motivated us to make Des Moines an annual road trip destination. And next year we might need a bus.

Once again, they doled out wisdom, encouragement, and inspiration. Here’s some to pay forward:

Lisa Morlock and Debbie LaCroix kicked the conference off with this YouTube parody by Sue Fleiss of Anna Kendrick’s “When I’m Gone” cup song.

EileenBoggess

Eileen Boggess

In their presentations regarding young adult and middle grade novels, Jan Blazanin and Eileen Boggess mentioned so many titles by authors whose names I didn’t recognize, I drooled a little during my open-mouthed stare. I whispered to my writing partner. “I need to read more.” Mercifully, she didn’t zing me with sarcasm. But, we’ve both been on a reading frenzy since.

Blazanin’s book, Fairest of Them All, is on my to-read list. Other young adult novels she recommends include: Bitter End by Jennifer Brown, Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell, and The White Bicycle by Beverley Brenna.

Boggess shared her series and trilogies methodology:

  • Every book in a series or trilogy needs to have its own logical arc and structure.
  • Each book should give the reader enough to enjoy what they are reading but hold back enough to leave them wanting more.

Boggess gained this knowledge developing her own successful (and funny) middle grade MIA book series. She urges series and trilogy writers to create and consider the protagonist’s whole world, because readers will know if something isn’t consistent. She also warns writers to be careful which characters we kill off, so we don’t have to resort to another clichéd phew-it-was-only-a-dream scene.

I promise, I’ll share more IA Conference notes next week.

In the meantime, special thanks to the event committee (Connie Heckert, Lisa MorlockDorothia Rohner, and Eileen Boggess) and all speakers and volunteers for putting on another memorable event.

2013 Iowa SCBWI Conference Photos

2013 MN SCBWI Conference Tidbits

Quinette Cook, Regional Advisor, and Jessica Freeburg, Assistant Regional Advisor, of MN SCBWI

Thanks to the conference organizers: MN SCBWI Regional Advisor Quinette Cook and Assistant Regional Advisor Jessica Freeburg.

It’s been 16 days since the 2013 Minnesota Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI)  conference and my tiny brain is still smoking from over-stimulation.

 

Tidbits of wisdom:

  • William Alexander, keynote speaker and author of Goblin Secrets, reminded,”It’s not about you … It’s the story … How well do you serve the story?” Alexander  immersed himself in storytelling as an actor before he became an author. He started out romantically letting the story unfold,  but he discovered that method to be “wildly inefficient” because he would often have to change his beginning to match his new ending. Now he uses outlines, thinking of them as loose travel itineraries with a beginning and an end–and a few crazy side trips.
  • Barry Goldblatt of Barry Goldblatt Literary, showered us with snippets of reality.
    Barry Goldblatt of Barry Goldblatt Literary "Art is a terrible way to make a living."

    Barry Goldblatt of Barry Goldblatt Literary “Art is a terrible way to make a living.”

    “Art is a terrible way to make a living … Name your favorite book and your best friend will hate that book. Art is subjective. People are going to hate what you do.” He advised us to reach into our souls and slap it on the page. For him to represent a book, it needs to scream, “This is a must have.”
    “Research to find the right agent,” he implored,  comparing the relationship to a marriage, because the agent will 1. mess with your babies; 2. control the purse strings; and 3. get into your legal matters.

     

  • Dan Yaccarino, keynote speaker and author/illustrator of Doug Unplugged, Oswald, The Backyardigans, and Willa’s Wild Life, first ripped marketing labels off of packaging to study and draw. Because of his astounding achievement rate, it was tempting to discount Mr. Yaccarino as a freak of nature who wouldn’t understand the plight of the struggling artist. But he won our approval when he disclosed that for every one success there are 12 failures. He says he owes his victories to organization, determination, and persistence. He urged artists to give themselves permission to do the work that makes them happy. “Be brave!
  • Nathan Gassman, art director for Capstone Press, advised illustrators to “think professionally … Seek consistency in your art, branding yourselves so that we (art directors) know we can go to you with a certain style. He recommended Go Dog Go by P.D. Eastman and Life Doesn’t Frighten Me by Maya Angelo as examples where art and word mesh well. He warns that bunnies are cliché unless you turn the character upside down. Gassman’s non-cliché bunny reference: one haunted by mutant carrots (Creepy Carrots written by Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Peter Brown ).
  • I wasn’t able to attend Minnesota illustrator Jennifer Bell‘s presentation, but we can learn more about her on her official website. She has Illustrated over a dozen children’s books, including, My Pen Pal, Santa and Little Dog, Lost.
  • Annie Stone, Assistant Editor, Harlequin Teen, has a special place in her heart for the Chronicles of Narnia. Stone said the appeal of a great story is power in humanity and protagonists who possess humility, innocence, faith, and flaws. “It’s hard to get behind someone who’s too perfect. It’s their failures– their overcoming of weaknesses that’ll make them heroes.” Clichés: female protagonists who aren’t pretty but everyone falls in love with them and the big reveal where the parents are of magical descent.
  • Marsha Qualey, a Hamline University MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults  program professor and author of several young adult novels, including Thin Ice, gave an intensive entitled Angles, Facets, and POV. It was my favorite part of the conference because she led us in hands-on group and individual writing exercises. “Editors can’t work with you like they used to,” Qualey commiserated. Lucky for us, we can take a class.
  • Marsha Wilson Chall also teaches for the Hamline MFA program and has authored eleven children’s books, including Pick a Pup. I wasn’t able to attend her presentation, but I intend to look into the Hamline program. Even an old dog like me can learn new tricks (like not writing clichés).

Thanks to organizers, Quinette Cook, Jessica Freeburg, Alicia Schwab, and Nina Crittenberg, and all volunteers for putting on a fabulous 2013 conference. Your devotion to the success of regional book writers and illustrators reaches far beyond the competitive marketing arena and into the minds of children everywhere. That’s profound, when you think about it.

Now what?

Aruthur Rackham's illustration from GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS from the Project Gutenberg archives.

Aruthur Rackham’s illustration from GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS from the Project Gutenberg archives.

So, you’ve subjected your manuscript to writers’ conference reviews.

  • Papa Editor says your manuscript is too soft/lame/dull.
  • Mama Agent says it is too hard/scary/implausible.
  • And your Baby Peer Group says it is just right, except for a few hundred nagging flaws.

Now what?

  • Sleep until noon.
  • Eat bon-bons.
  • Complain on Facebook that editors, agents, and other writers don’t know their succotash from Shinola.

Just kidding!

Post manuscript review steps

1. Detach

  • Know that your reason for living is not dependent on those 600/9000/48,000 words.
  • To avoid burn out and increase objectivity, let the project rest in a drawer for two weeks or more.
  • Start another project. Many successful authors juggle several manuscripts at once. Epiphanies often occur while focusing on something else.

2. Look for middle ground

Note opposing revision suggestions. You can’t incorporate both, so see if the middle ground makes sense.

For instance, one manuscript reviewer advised that I intensify a storm scene to make it scarier. The next suggested that volatile weather may be too scary for children.

Because of favorable input received earlier from a test group, I plan to meet in the middle and leave the storm as is. If I didn’t feel confident and couldn’t decide which advice was best, I would save my original manuscript, rename and rewrite it  the two suggested ways, and select the best.

Writing exercises are never wasted.

3. Note common threads

Listen and check your notes for common threads of advice. This indicates a weak point. A common thread regarding my aforementioned manuscript is a preference for a supporting character over the protagonist.

To improve the manuscript according to this feedback, I can:

  • change my protagonist to make him/her stand out.
  • advance the supporting character to the rank of protagonist, knowing this may change the genre, theme, and story.
  • create an entirely new protagonist.

What critique advice have you heard more than once?

4. Note common sense

An editor noticed a scene where I had gotten sidetracked. I tend to be a bit attention deficit. SQUIRREL! To compensate for the shortcomings in my personality, I plan to change my writing process. It’s dangerous for someone like me to just write and hope it takes me to a logical place. ICE CREAM! I will need an outline to keep me on track. Common sense will save me from ending up in an entirely different story and writing ten times more material than I need.

What common sense advice speaks to you?

5. Incorporate the best advice

Save your manuscript under a new name and incorporate the common thread and common sense advice. If others, especially the professionals, agree that chapters, phrases, and words do not carry your story forward cut or change them.

You can go back to the original if you don’t like what you get. But I’m guessing you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

6. Test your manuscript

Revise, then test your manuscript with readers of the age group you are targeting. In extreme critique instances, ask your test group to select between the two different revisions and the original. If the pieces are too long, offer three different synopses for comparison.

My manuscript was originally written without a storm. The youngest member of my test group suggested one. Post-revision, the test group says the story is way cooler with a storm and it’s just the right amount of scary.

Trust your target audience. They’re the best indicator of the marketability of your story.

7. Start again (Back to Baby Peer Group, Mama Agent, and Papa Editor)

At the October 2013 Iowa SCBWI conference, a participant received a submission request from a major publishing house director. This friend started her manuscript over a decade ago.

“She’s arrived!” you say?

Not yet. She’ll follow the post-manuscript-review steps, then she’ll submit her manuscript.

I can’t wait to tell you how the story ends.

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Siri helpIn the immortal words of Judith Viorst’s Alexander, I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

While traveling on the busy freeway I asked Siri for directions.  She said, “I do not know ‘get that little cat’.”

When I tried and tried again she consistently answered,  “You’re welcome.”

Determined to be more helpful than Sassy Siri, I vowed to bring cheer to two depressed acquaintances.  So, I mailed them rough  dummies of my  children’s picture book manuscripts, because my depressed, young protagonist makes me laugh.

When I called to see if they got my dummies, one said, “What do you want me to do with these?”

Seeking a more positive review, I called the other. She said, “You should meet my neighbor–she’s a good writer.” Then for the next agonizing hour and a half she recited every one of her neighbor’s poems. By then, I was depressed.

To cheer myself up, I visited my grandkids. One pointed to the back of my knee, “What awe those bwoo wines on you-a wegs, Gwamma?” (Translation: “What are those blue lines on your legs, Gramma?”)

My husband teased, “Connected, they’d make a tattooed map of Argentina.”

Later that evening, I had the auspicious opportunity of having my chapter book manuscript critiqued by a real live published writer. I beamed as I handed her draft #658. Until her face contorted. I checked the table for the sour lemon. Seems she’s averse to first person present tense. She left the table abruptly. I think to go vomit.

On the drive home, I was tempted to pout. But then Charlie Brown, Rodney Dangerfield, and  Alexander from Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day sat on my shoulders and made fun of me. (I must have been delirious. Instead of angels and devils, I got round-headed whiners. ) 

Charles Schulz’s Charlie Brown said he wouldn’t have gotten a cartoon column if Lucy let him kick the ball.

Rodney Dangerfield said he wouldn’t have had a schtick if he had gotten any respect.

And Judith Viorst’s Alexander said his story wouldn’t have been as funny if his teacher loved his invisible castle.

They all told me to embrace awkward and to look for the funny in tattooed maps of Argentina. Then they asked me what I learned from my terrible horrible no good very bad day. I had to pray the Litany of Humility Prayer to see.

#1: Like Charlie Brown, I’ll keep trying–even when success seems improbable. But, where Siri’s concerned, I now bring a hard-copy map in case she takes me to that little cat. And I’m learning to enunciate my words.

#2: I don’t send depressed people my writing. It’d be embarrassing if my manuscript was left on a ledge after a jump. But, I do listen and learn. Like Rodney Dangerfield, I’m ready for the hecklers. In fact, I savor hecklers, because frustration generates the funniest writing material.

#3: I now wear pants (mostly). The South American Department of Tourism is disappointed, but they’ll get over it.

#4: I edited my invisible castle/manuscript rather than succumb to an overwhelming desire to move to Australia (an Alexander reference). I did some research and learned that no one is passionate one way or the other about past tense. But many people have visceral, negative emotions about first person present tense. So, I revised my chapter book manuscript to incorporate the less risky formula. (Because I’m a coward.)

My writers’ group thanked me for this. (Except for one comrade who came back from the Illinois conference declaring that present tense is all the rage. That was after I’d changed my entire 8,341 word manuscript to past tense. He coerced me off the ledge by conceding that I could wait to be adventurous–for when I don’t need critique advice–which will be–um–never.)

#5: Imperfect, insecure protagonists are funnier. My characters are more interesting because of my daily frustrations.

If you got stuck on this blog because Siri won’t give you directions or because you Googled giant Argentina tattoo, you might be having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Celebrate! Then write about it. That’s how Charlie, Rodney, and Alexander got their start.

Dummy Workshop for Smarties

EliseHyldenAre you a picture book author or author/illustrator who would like to wow an agent or editor by improving the rhythm, pacing, and editing of your manuscript?

You’re in luck! Minnesota illustrator, Elise Parsley, is presenting a workshop just for you:
Picture Book, Dummy Book, How to Hook (an agent)!

A dummy will help you flesh out your characters and pace your story. I created this dummy for my own use with the help of iclipart. Incidentally, you might learn, as I did, that your material is better suited for an older audience.

Whether you are an illustrator or artistically challenged, like me, this workshop will be beneficial for you. Elise will  show  you the characteristics and usefulness of a picture book dummy and the basics of a PB query letter. The  experience may also help you discern whether your material is truly suitable for and marketable in the picture book genre.

Bring a copy of your picture book manuscript, pen, scissors, and be prepared to make some edits!

About Elise: She studied drawing and creative writing at Minnesota State University in Moorhead, MN. She has been actively researching and creating picture books and dummies since graduating in 2011. Five pieces of Elise’s spot art were featured in the March/April 2013 issue of the SCBWI Bulletin. She will share invaluable feedback she’s received from editors and agents on her way to publication.

SCBWIBULLETINPg26-27Picture Book, Dummy Book, How to Hook (an agent)!  is a MN SCBWI-sponsored event.
Elise looks forward to seeing you Saturday, September 21, 1 – 5 p.m. at the Maplewood Ramsey County Library, Community Meeting Room, 3025 Southlawn Drive, Maplewood, MN, 55109.

SCBWI Members: $25, Non-members $35.