Cutting Words

Editing is an excruciating process, especially when it involves the extraction of beloved words. For writers, words are our progeny. It’s painful to part with them. Yet, we remove favored words all of the time, as an act of sacrificial love for our manuscripts and mercy for readers everywhere.

Fortunately, I just thought of a way to save my words AND make incomplete manuscripts happy. I opened a home for orphaned words, lines, and scenes today. I’m making excess words available for adoption!

This is my first foundling, cut from my children’s chapter book manuscript:

While Gramma helped Papa catch the tumbling toys, I chased a crazy ping pong ball–ping, ping, ping–until it plopped into the kitty litter–plip. I decided to leave it. Maybe Papa and Gramma would think the cat laid an egg.

Disclaimer: I didn’t say all word orphans were appealing. But I’m holding onto the hope that there’s a manuscript out there that’ll think this is the cutest word baby ever.


MyBikeI like my bicycle. My bike can trick my heart rate into rising and make my globbies  (kid word for fat) burn and I won’t even notice.  On my bicycle, it’s inconvenient to squeeze the brakes on the way up the hill.  Also, it’s embarrassing to walk the bike, so it doesn’t cross my mind to stop when the going gets tough. Plus, bicycling seems more like an adventure.  I can’t wait to see what’s over the hill–and the next hill–and the next…

My feet can’t fool me that well. While running, the minute my heart rate rises and I sound like Pepe Le Pew’s girl-prey, Penelope, (le pant), I walk. Because I can. It’s inconvenient to keep running uphill. (And, I won’t roll back downhill if I stop.)  Plus, I know I’ll see what’s over that hill–eventually.

My love for my bike is a mystery.  Not only is it a slavedriver, but sometimes my husband pretends he doesn’t know me when I’m on my bike.

Three of my friends and I celebrated pedicures at a cabin retreat in 2004.  That's when I first got the turquoise slippers--and I'm still wearing them nine years later.  I know--ewww! And, I wear them while riding bike.  But not on purpose.

Three of my friends and I celebrated pedicures at a cabin retreat in 2004. That’s when I first received the turquoise slippers–and I’m still wearing them nine years later. I know–ewww! And, yes, I’ve worn them while riding my bike. But not on purpose.

One instance occurred because our carpet gives me itchy feet.  This makes me sport socks or  big terry cloth flip-flop slippers indoors.

Outdoors, my husband prefers running over bicycling, yet he’s agreed to load my bike for our regular jaunts around a nearby lake.  Since he does this for my well-being, I try to be in the car when he’s ready to go.  Or, at least before he says my name in vain or smoke comes out of his ears. This often requires a rush to enter the vehicle before he honks the horn.

One beautiful day at the park, he unloaded my bike and set off running.  I rode over to get a drink from the water fountain, then leisurely cycled past him as a group of people approached from the other direction.  My husband called out, “Hey lady. Cool shoes.”

I surveyed the crowd for the lady with shoes exceptional enough for my husband to comment on them, but I didn’t see any notable feminine footwear. However, I did notice the crowd seemed exceptional cheerful–especially as I met up with them. I assumed I’d captivated them with my cool bike. It makes me smile, too.

A ways beyond the friendly crowd, I reached down to swipe a bug off of my toe, when I stroked something fuzzy and soft. I looked down to see oversized turquoise terry cloth flip-flop slippers.

Hey lady was me!

All I needed to finish my outfit was a red clown nose and a bicycle horn.

This song is my tribute to my bicycle and the day my husband pretended not to know me at the lake. (One of the days.) (I know this song’s mostly about roller skates.  But it’s a little bit about bikes, funny foot attire, and a cocky guy with keys.)

I GOT A BRAND NEW PAIR OF ROLLER SKATES-by Melanie.  Her guy was embarrassed by her foot attire, too.
Click photo for I GOT A BRAND NEW PAIR OF ROLLER SKATES by Melanie. Her guy was embarrassed by her foot attire, too.


100 is the New 30

100 is the new 30 in Heaven.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

MyDadMy DadHappy birthday to my father, Elmer, who turns 100 today, July 3, 2013.

I hope you’re keeping up with those 5,784 year olds, Dad. Tell those firefighters, we appreciate their sacrificial service. And, give my love to Mom and Barbara and everyone else.

Thanks, Dad, for your abundant humor and your abundant love.  I miss you and I love you–to infinity and beyond!