I’m practicing my salute in anticipation of our son’s return to the States next year. He was recently promoted to Captain, but we didn’t get to witness his commissioning. He serves our country with other brave men and women in a scary, far-off land that doesn’t specialize in tourism. Yet, this is his second tour there — to try to make a difference.
To me, he’s still our little boy. I know he hates that, and could crush a coconut in the crook of his arm, but he’ll always be that to me — especially now.
I phoned our other son, Captain’s little 6’4-contractor-family-man brother, and asked “What should I send your brother? What gift can possibly express, ‘Congratulations on becoming a Captain!'”
“Send him a box of Cap’n Crunch.”
Brothers are so sappy, aren’t they? And, ingenious.
This inspired me to brainstorm for other resourceful items to commemorate the auspicious occasion. After all, the Captain had sent me this Mother’s Day sentiment :
So, here’s my list of TOP TEN THINGS TO SEND A NEW CAPTAIN. You might want to use it — unless you have more cash (and class) than us. And, I know, some of these items will only make him scratch his stubbly head: